another moral hangover. fuck.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
