she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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