Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize