There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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