I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
