watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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