I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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