Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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