I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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