People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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