Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
