Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
