Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
