he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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