Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just threw up on my dentist
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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