i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
