Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
