Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
