There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
