the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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