Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
