so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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