If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
