I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
