How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize