Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
