my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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