i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Even my vagina gasped.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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