there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
