normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
