I wannas sexs uuuuu
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
