woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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