ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize