i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
