They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We just shotgunned beers for America
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
