yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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