Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
