You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize