I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
