We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
