i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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