no, he came in my armpit
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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