youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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