We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
