He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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