You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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