I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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