She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
