I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
