About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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