shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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