how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
