im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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