I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
