none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
are you so shy because you have an std?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
