No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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