just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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