Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
honey bunches of taint.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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