I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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