We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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